The Relationship Lab

A three-day virtual workshop to help you change your narrative to deepen trust, connection, compassion, fun, and love in your marriage.

"When you change your story
you change your marriage."


Welcome to The Relationship Lab

Relationship Lab is a three-day virtual weekend event that helps create narratives that undergird first-class marriages so that you can have greater trust, use conflict to improve the marriage, and create a deep connection with your partner.

First things first: what's "narrative"?

Narrative is the core concept in all our work. It's the continual interior conversation that goes on in human beings...that voice inside your head. When it's problematic, it's called many things: negative mindset, negative self-talk, limiting beliefs, head trash, low self-confidence, negative indoctrinations, and the ego to name a few. When it's good, it's described as flow, connection, truth, impact, fun, wholeness, abundance, and love.

We created The Relationship Lab for four reasons

First, relationships are hard, but they can be made a lot easier in just one weekend if that weekend is focused at identifying problematic narrative and shifting it to healthy narratives that strengthen relationships.

Secondly, contrary to popular opinion, a marriage can improve dramatically even if only one partner is focused on narrative shifting. The Relationship Lab was created because we know often one partner is ready to do some work but the other one is not. It works whether both of you come or it's just you.

Third, most struggling couples do not need couples counseling. They need help shifting away from marriage-stressing narratives to ones that are marriage-strengthening.

And finally, marriage work doesn't have to be infinitely hard and doesn't depend upon revealing uncomfortable things about you or your spouse.  It just has to be focused on eliminating narratives that are taking you down the wrong path... and that can be relatively easy and quite enjoyable. 

The Relationship Lab is intended to help move you along the healthy path in an area of your life that can become a deep source of joy and fun...that is, your marriage (or committed partnership).


Establishing a strong friendship

We kick off the weekend with narratives that are necessary for you to easily turn towards your partner (vs. turning away from or turning against).  We move into narratives that make it easy for you to admire and feel fondness of your partner. We finish the day with simple exercises on creating behavioral connections.


Using disagreements to strengthen your relationship

Disagreements are part and parcel of close relationships. Either they use you or you use them.  On this day, we dive into narrative that, once adopted, will completely change how you see yourself, your partner, and the fights that you have. You'll discover and create narratives that will help you mine the deep meaning that is hidden inside a fight.


Creating the "Deep We"

"...and the two shall become one."  We think most people who are committed to each other are also committed to union, to becoming "one." Union, too, takes narrative shifting. We call that the "Deep We" where you are so tuned into each other you really can finish each other sentences and in a way your partner loves.  This final day is focused on creating the narratives that undergird the skills necessary for creating a haven that is safe for both of you.

The 8 myths that weaken and wreck marriages

Many of the “broken” mindsets are foisted upon us by the majority culture narrative about marriage. And frankly, these common ideas about marriage are just wrong. They are, in fact, myths.

Rather, we imagine a world where everyone is in a “first class” marriage.

A marriage where all are a part of a union where there is unending trust, skilled management of conflict, and deep abiding bonds. What if we all knew that, no matter what the day outside our homes brought us, that at night when we returned home we would always enter a sanctuary, our own safe port in the storm, a perfect haven for both of us?

That fantasy is more within reach than most believe.

We’ve been working with couples for decades and have had the great fortune of seeing what a few shifts in narrative will do for their marriages. 

We designed The Relationship Lab to expose these myths that hold back even good people from having a first-class marriage that they deserve.

MYTH #1:

I married the wrong person

MYTH #2: 

Fighting means we have a bad relationship

MYTH #3: 

Marriage isn't supposed to be this difficult

MYTH #4: 

The problem is my partner's personality

MYTH #5: 

The problem is that we're not connected physically

MYTH #6: 

The problem is too much dependency

MYTH #7: 

Fighting weakens relationships

MYTH #8: 

I haven't had an affair so I haven't betrayed

Here's what's included in The Relationship Lab

This is a your chance to work directly with narrative experts alongside other very cool people who want to create and maintain strong relationships. Here's what you get:

Marriage Science

Get the best marriage science available, taught in a down-to-earth, "what-you-need-to-know, no-more-no-less" kind of way.

The Relationship Lab Workbook

Key concepts and important sequences included plus plenty of white space for note-taking.

Journaling support

A journal, journaling prompts, and time for journaling to speed the narrative shifting process.

No questions left behind 

Plenty of time set aside for Q&A on your particular situation.

Small group discussions

Marriages soar or sink on the basis of good discussions that are built atop great exploratory questions. You'll have time to practice dialogue skills in small groups. We provide the prompts and the structure for great dialogues throughout the weekend.

Three textbooks

These are for your shelf! You do NOT need to read them to make the most of the weekend. They are for your shelf in case you want to reference them AFTER the weekend. In the continental US, these three texts will be shipped directly to you. All others will receive digital copies.

The Relationship Lab is the weekend program for you if:

  • You want real, permanent change in your marriage; if you want a first class marriage, built upon a solid friendship.
  • You want a clear methodology for using disagreements between the two of you to strengthen what you already have.
  • You want to understand how to increase the quality of your emotional and physical intimacy and to arrive at a frequency of physical intimacy that works for both of you .
  • You want to feel capable of creating a safe haven for both of you, one where you both look forward to your time together.
  • You're geeky about brain science and love to learn new concepts.
  • You want your "Story of Us" to be one of calm, almost heroic progress through the challenges life tosses at you, rather than a story of chaos and struggle.

About The Relationship Lab creators

Dr. Julie Helmrich and Lisa Brierton created The Relationship Lab to help couples create "first-class marriages." It's not about working harder to fix yourself or your partner. It's about understanding how HUGE the odds against you two are because there are SO MANY MYTHS about the way to achieve friendship, skilled conflict management, and union within a marriage.

 Your ability to create a first-class marriage  comes down to the story you tell yourself about yourself, about your partner, and about marriage in general. 

With The Relationship Lab, you'll get started on exactly the right path to create trust, use conflict to strengthen you two, and create a safe haven where even the most tender needs are met. Those narrative changes undergird the skills necessary for the marriage you thought you'd have by now




change your story, change your marriage

Enroll in The Relationship Lab

Relationship Lab is a three-day virtual weekend event that helps create narratives that undergird first-class marriages so that you can have greater trust, use conflict to improve the marriage, and create a deep connection with your partner. Enroll today.

September 16, 17 & 18, 2022

One-time payment for The Relationship Lab




Marriage science that leads to permanent narrative change

The Relationship Lab Workbook

Journaling support to speed the narrative-changing process

No questions left behind Q&A

Small group discussions

Three textbooks

  Copyright 2021 Dr. Julie Helmrich. All rights reserved.